"Are you going to be a stay-at-home mom or a career woman?"
I've seriously been asked that exact question. It's like the world said I had two choices: Betty Crocker or Betty Friedan. How do you answer a question like that?
Despite these buckets the world tries to place us in, many women work for reasons other than the promotion of some kind of feminist cause. Some have a genuine, God-given calling and some just need to support their families. Most would stay home in a heartbeat if they could.
This tension - the tension that exists when you believe wholeheartedly in the value of motherhood as a full time vocation yet fully accept the additional vocation you have been tasked with - homeschooling eases the tension and bridges the gap.
We all know super-natural moms who parent full time and do an amazing job. But we also know moms who stay-at-home only in the sense that they are not in the official workforce. They spend more hours at the gym or the coffee shop than parenting or managing their home, and their kids are either always at school or involved in another activity that will keep them busy and out of the way.
I have a hunch that we have been hanging our mom-evaluations on the wrong pillars. We've replaced the Biblical model of teaching and training the children at our side with a modernized 1950's commercial. Good looks, organized pantries, and well-packed lunches are the new standard. It's an empty standard.
Let's get something straight: If you are taking the time to direct your child's education while working, you are doing more "mom work" than a very large number of stay-at-home moms. So stop the false comparison trap.
I have a confession to make: Even during the brief periods of time that I did get to stay at home, I never felt like I had the talents of the moms that fit the ultimate stereotype - always full of songs, crafts, the perfect games - I had none of that.
When I started homeschooling, it was like I found my superpower - THIS is how I can be effective. THIS makes parenting make sense.
It makes me wonder about the dissatisfaction that caused the second wave feminist movement. Was it really a product of corporate jobs being denied to women? Or was it the result of the work that gives so much creativity, purpose, direction - the work of truly teaching and training a child - being taken out of the home? You see, I think some of the feminist leaders did hit on some real problems, but they missed their aim when they placed the blame and suggested solutions.
I've got so much more to say about this topic than this space can handle, so let me just bring you back to this: Working and homeschooling can bring out a parenting skill inside of you that you never realized existed. Just the fact that you are here reading this shows that you care deeply about your children and will do anything it takes to raise them well.
Don't ever feel like you have to fall into a preassigned category because you have to work. You can homeschool and you can do it well. And you can be proud of it.